No, not a newspaper. Me!-Embarassed that Kanye West tried to take Taylor Swift's microphone during the 2009 MTV Video Music Awards. There are some lines you just don't cross, Mr.West-"How could you be so heartless?"
And Taylor, sleep well. We'll all be back there for you first thing in the morning-Hannah Montana cooking up some 'sweet niblets', Willie Nelson on standby in his next door tour bus with a doobie at the ready, Dolly Parton sitting at your trailer kitchen table, tossing back a little shine and dispensing downhome precious words to live by through the next poopy week or 2 before this tornado blows out of town. Stay strong, sympathetic and some kinda sexy, Miss Swift, and you shall overcome!
Monday, September 14, 2009
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Iconoclash!
Whitney Houston is going on the Oprah Winfrey Show?! Oh, boy! Gentlemen, start your engines! Diva-va-vrrrrrrrrroooooooooooooooommmmmmmmm!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Friday, September 11, 2009
Uncle Sam Wants...Me?!
Quick thought-Just how 'selective' is Selective Service anyway? I hear anyone between 18 and 40's gotta go if they're drafted, except if you have flat feet or you're gay and stuff.
Hot Rod
Have you seen this former Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich guy who's back in the news? He wrote a book. When he disappears from view again, who will be his 'hair heir', I wonder-that is, a person known primarily for having a crazy coif, whatever else his or her accomplishments may be?
Examples-record producer ( and convicted murderer ) Phil Spector, Donald Trump, Mr.T...
Any candidates?
And another thing! I saw the Governor say in a television interview that the accusation made against him that he tried to sell the old Senate seat once held by the Prez was "false AND untrue". Isn't that redundant? Thanks in advance, readers.
Examples-record producer ( and convicted murderer ) Phil Spector, Donald Trump, Mr.T...
Any candidates?
And another thing! I saw the Governor say in a television interview that the accusation made against him that he tried to sell the old Senate seat once held by the Prez was "false AND untrue". Isn't that redundant? Thanks in advance, readers.
Thursday, September 10, 2009
I Think Bill O'Reilly Yells Way Too Much-What Say You?
So I have the TV on, and I'm giving Mr. O'Reilly a try. Watching 'The Factor', that is. Now old Bill seems quite bright. And he's infinitely charming to his female guests. Sorry, ladies-he's married!
But what's with all the screaming?! I mean, according to you guys, Fox is #1 in cable news, and I see no reason to doubt this assertion. So can't you afford some microphones and speak in soft, soothing tones since you're all sitting right there next to each other? Hey-
Maybe the president wants to raise taxes too much.
Perhaps the war in Afghanistan is time and money well spent.
And heck, all those people you think hate you are probably as crazy as you say!
But I gotta be honest-when people shout at each other, part of me wants to roll up in a ball on the floor by the office fax machine and suck my thumb. I guess I hear too much of that in my apartment building and at the bus stop. And don't get me started on my childhood!
So could you lower the volume just a hair for old Shaw once in a while, Sir? Thanks a lot. And God bless America!
But what's with all the screaming?! I mean, according to you guys, Fox is #1 in cable news, and I see no reason to doubt this assertion. So can't you afford some microphones and speak in soft, soothing tones since you're all sitting right there next to each other? Hey-
Maybe the president wants to raise taxes too much.
Perhaps the war in Afghanistan is time and money well spent.
And heck, all those people you think hate you are probably as crazy as you say!
But I gotta be honest-when people shout at each other, part of me wants to roll up in a ball on the floor by the office fax machine and suck my thumb. I guess I hear too much of that in my apartment building and at the bus stop. And don't get me started on my childhood!
So could you lower the volume just a hair for old Shaw once in a while, Sir? Thanks a lot. And God bless America!
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
The Beatles
I mean, HOW cool are these guys?! 2 of 'em are dead, Ringo went on Youtube and told everybody to STOP sending him fan mail, and Paul only eats vegetables and gave $50 million to a model who lost her leg and took his kid!
And EVERY song holds up, people! Well, almost every song. 'Blue Jay Way' goes on and on, and 'One After 909' just plain stinks, but still!...
And EVERY song holds up, people! Well, almost every song. 'Blue Jay Way' goes on and on, and 'One After 909' just plain stinks, but still!...
Saturday, September 5, 2009
Who Needs Health Insurance?
Not me. That's who.
Here's the thing-I'm a healthy 34-year-old. I am employed as an awake overnight counselor at Woods Surround Us, a group home for abused and neglected teenagers located in Cascade Village in Berlin, NH. 'Woods' is kind of a tough love, scared straight deal. Kids come here who can't make it at regular group homes, where they have more freedom to go to school off-site, get a job in the community, play sports, etc. At Woods, you live in tents near the main office building. You get up early, cook, eat and bathe, tend the vegetable and flower gardens and generally work the land until you collapse at bedtime. Roughing it. After a few months of life at Woods, residents return to where they're from to try and make it again, hopefully with a better perspective on their issues and a desire to succeed ( and not return to living outside! )
What I do on my job is check on the kids at night, make sure they're sleeping, help them with their tents in rough weather, give out medications or handle crises as they come up-anything from some boy sneaking up on the girls' tent pretending he's a bear and wreaking havoc to a sleepwalker we had once who tumbled into a dying campfire. ( The first aid kit was locked in the office supply closet. I had to douse poor Shaniqua's charred ankle with 2 half-empty bags of Marshmallows and my co-worker Larry's water bottle! )
Any-hoo, I work 30 hours a week, just under the amount I need to qualify for health insurance at Woods. I have been asked a couple times by Administration if I'd like to graduate to a full-time 40-hour week. I'd like the benefits, but I'd hate to take a 1st or 2nd shift instead of the 3rd shift I'm on now. I like the kids at Woods Surround Us much better when they're asleep. All the swearing and attempted smoking and sex between 12:00am and 6:00am is enough-it's 10 times worse during the day when they're actually awake! No. Thank. You.
My wife Sandy and I are young and healthy. We exercise a lot, eat right and take daily vitamins. We don't smoke and rarely drink. ( Do Shirley Temples count? ) We have some savings in the bank for the occasional doctor visit or overnight trip to Canada. And we have a plan-Maybe try for a baby in a few years and change our jobs around so that one of us has family health insurance through work AND one of us is always with the baby for the 1st few years until he or she starts school. In the meantime, I'd rather get paid more to live a half-decent life. Employers want to pay you less to insure you more, and hey, we have bills, people! Rent, a car payment, cable tv. ..
I hear a lot of talk about how the government wants to take over health care. But my Uncle Joe says that in France, a woman has to wait up to 7 months just to get tested to see if she's pregnant-Now that's cutting it close! And in England, I hear if you ask for a check-up in the fall for Seasonal Affective Disorder or S.A.D. ( my cousin Dan's girlfriend Zoe has it ) , with all the back-up's in socialized medicine across the pond, you might not get to see a doctor until spring, and sure, you may be just starting to come around, but that's after having a real crappy winter.
So I'm open to feedback. But I think America should really approach this topic very carefully!
Here's the thing-I'm a healthy 34-year-old. I am employed as an awake overnight counselor at Woods Surround Us, a group home for abused and neglected teenagers located in Cascade Village in Berlin, NH. 'Woods' is kind of a tough love, scared straight deal. Kids come here who can't make it at regular group homes, where they have more freedom to go to school off-site, get a job in the community, play sports, etc. At Woods, you live in tents near the main office building. You get up early, cook, eat and bathe, tend the vegetable and flower gardens and generally work the land until you collapse at bedtime. Roughing it. After a few months of life at Woods, residents return to where they're from to try and make it again, hopefully with a better perspective on their issues and a desire to succeed ( and not return to living outside! )
What I do on my job is check on the kids at night, make sure they're sleeping, help them with their tents in rough weather, give out medications or handle crises as they come up-anything from some boy sneaking up on the girls' tent pretending he's a bear and wreaking havoc to a sleepwalker we had once who tumbled into a dying campfire. ( The first aid kit was locked in the office supply closet. I had to douse poor Shaniqua's charred ankle with 2 half-empty bags of Marshmallows and my co-worker Larry's water bottle! )
Any-hoo, I work 30 hours a week, just under the amount I need to qualify for health insurance at Woods. I have been asked a couple times by Administration if I'd like to graduate to a full-time 40-hour week. I'd like the benefits, but I'd hate to take a 1st or 2nd shift instead of the 3rd shift I'm on now. I like the kids at Woods Surround Us much better when they're asleep. All the swearing and attempted smoking and sex between 12:00am and 6:00am is enough-it's 10 times worse during the day when they're actually awake! No. Thank. You.
My wife Sandy and I are young and healthy. We exercise a lot, eat right and take daily vitamins. We don't smoke and rarely drink. ( Do Shirley Temples count? ) We have some savings in the bank for the occasional doctor visit or overnight trip to Canada. And we have a plan-Maybe try for a baby in a few years and change our jobs around so that one of us has family health insurance through work AND one of us is always with the baby for the 1st few years until he or she starts school. In the meantime, I'd rather get paid more to live a half-decent life. Employers want to pay you less to insure you more, and hey, we have bills, people! Rent, a car payment, cable tv. ..
I hear a lot of talk about how the government wants to take over health care. But my Uncle Joe says that in France, a woman has to wait up to 7 months just to get tested to see if she's pregnant-Now that's cutting it close! And in England, I hear if you ask for a check-up in the fall for Seasonal Affective Disorder or S.A.D. ( my cousin Dan's girlfriend Zoe has it ) , with all the back-up's in socialized medicine across the pond, you might not get to see a doctor until spring, and sure, you may be just starting to come around, but that's after having a real crappy winter.
So I'm open to feedback. But I think America should really approach this topic very carefully!
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Nice Advice
There's so much to clean and do around the apartment. I really have no business blogging. So I'm going to have to tell my wife Sandy I'm up to good. Can you help me out? People are always telling me I have a lot of common sense and good ideas. Maybe I can pass something along to you?-Relationship tips, social etiquiette, positive pat's ( on the back )-Try me! The worst that could happen is I say I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about.
I may not be as wise as some of the newspaper columnists from days of yore. But what, with the internet, texting and general instantaneous-ness, it's a "whole new world..." ( Name that Disney movie! )
I may not be as wise as some of the newspaper columnists from days of yore. But what, with the internet, texting and general instantaneous-ness, it's a "whole new world..." ( Name that Disney movie! )
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